The press was awash with stories yesterday that pop princess, Britney Spears, called herself the “Antichrist” and then tried to hang herself. A source told Britain’s News of the World newspaper: “She was crying and shouting, ‘I am the Antichrist!’ Then she started screaming, ‘I’m a fake!’ My guess is that after years of being protected by her mother, she finally got to hear some of her own records and realized that she has been the willing tool of the RIAA (Recording Industry Antichrist of America). The poor girl - what a shock it must have been. She always thought she was making the genuine delta blues music that she learned to love in her native Mississippi. I have it on good authority that she originally wanted to call herself “Muddy” Spears or “Long John” Spears before her career was cruelly stolen away from her by a handful of lawyers and accountants who appropriated her prodigious talents for their own ends.

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